What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
