On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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