Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
