One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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