your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
