You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
