my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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