there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
