OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
