I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
