all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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