i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
