i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
