he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
