he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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