She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
