i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize