I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
