I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
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