I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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