I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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