Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
