I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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