Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
