I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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