Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
