Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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