He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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