i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
