I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
