idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
