with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
