I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
