I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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