we're blogging at a bar
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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