If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
