you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
