im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
