how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
