You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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