it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
