Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
