at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
