he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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