so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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