You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
