mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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