so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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