The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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