thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Randomize
