Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
